I realize I can not go around hoping for, wanting, searching, for the unexpected. I also realize it is in some degree up to me. I read an article a few days ago. It was about what people at their deathbed say they regret the most. You know what it is?
Not letting myself be happier.
Living my life according to the expectations of others.
Not following my dreams.
Luckily, these are things I have already realized. But I think we could all get even better at it. Why pass on something that might turn out like a lot of fun just because it might be a bit embarrassing or because it might make others think you are crazy? What if, instead of thinking "Nah, I can't do that, people will think I'm crazy" you would just go "I have absolutely nothing to lose, only live once, lets do this!".
I try to do that. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes it takes a few minutes of gathering courage. But never have I regretted any of the silly things I've done because they are the things I remember. And remembering them makes me smile in an otherwise quite gray day-to-day life.
With these thoughts in mind I must say I am looking forward to this weekend. No commitments made, but plenty of invitations. I understand my friends don't really like me being so flaky, but the thing is, I don't have a lot of free time right now and when I do have free time I don't want to commit to coming to dinner or seeing a play or having lunch or whatever, because that, in my mind, beats the purpose of free time. How can I be spontaneous if I always have some place where I have promised to be at a certain time? I appreciate the invitations, but would like to keep my right to make split second decisions.
Bon week-end à tous!