lördag 26 november 2011

Go figure!

So what happens? Worst possible of course, romantic music and candles and dinner. And when I was leaving he kissed me on the mouth. Can not see him anymore obviously. Our expectations are not the same. And now I have to tell him that. Fuck.

fredag 25 november 2011

Grass is always greener...

So, the guy I mentioned in the previous post? I'm going on a third date with him tonight. Yay! Or so you might think, but actually I'm kind of freaking out. I'm afraid he is more interested than I am.

He is serving dinner at his place tonight. I swear, if there are candles on the table it will be a very short date! What is wrong with me though? As soon as somebody shows interest I freak out and feel like I can't breathe. But if a guy seems like he is not really interested than I can't get him off my mind. I guess it's the chase more than the guys themself...too sad.

torsdag 17 november 2011

Things that make my knees weak

I have a date today after work. I'm not the type of person that gets nervous about stuff, but today I am! This guy is uncomfortably handsome and I have no idea why he wants to go out with me. He is the kind of movie star handsome that makes you extremely self-aware. And he is older than me. 7 years older.

I know it'll be alright. I'll just be me, which is not bad at all. I just can't imagine that I would be his type. My bets are there will not be a second date, but who cares? Handsome man, I will enjoy his company today.

måndag 14 november 2011


It struck me again yesterday how important it is to have free-time. I mean real free-time, not just weekend. I did have some plans for the weekend, but to be honest, I didn't feel like going through with any of them. So I cancelled. Perhaps that upset some people who were affected by it. But it freed up my weekend. And it was exactly what I needed!

How can you ever be spontaneous if every second of every minute of your life is scheduled?

Ended up going to dinner and then movies with three good friends. No plans were made, we just went to eat, and once we had finished eating one of my friends said he felt like going to the movies, and so we did. It wasn't any extraordinary events, but just the freedom to be able to do it just because it felt like a good idea at the time is worth so much.

tisdag 8 november 2011

You suck!!

I've read through about a million blogs today. And they all suck. They were all terribly written and incredibly boring. Maybe I am too. But since this is me and my universe which revolves around my being I'm choosing not to care. Caring would only lead to insecurities and misery, who wants that?

I do realize how immature this post sounds. It's just...I don't know how to explain. I think it is perfectly possible to write about everyday nonsense in an entertaining way. But all the blogs I've read today go like this: "Today I woke up and was very tired. Then I had breakfast and went to school/work. After school/work I came home and had dinner. Now I'm just relaxing."

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzz.... you lost me.

Maybe I'm exaggerating, I did read a few blogs that weren't like that. But instead they were really pretentious and attention seeking. Don't like that either. Am I just too hard to please? I think not. I'm a normal (more or less) person. My life is just as boring as everybody elses, I'm not asking for or demanding extravagance. I'm just not interested in you waking up, going to work, and eating. I'm interested in what you saw on your way to work, and what that made you think about. That is what makes you different from everybody else.

On a different note, found some gorgeous vintage red leather boots by Finnish designer Juhani Palmroth. I love them!

måndag 7 november 2011

Hello? Is this the universe trying to tell me something?

I'm not superstitious. At least not very much. But I try to stay open and accept that there are other ways of communication then spoken or written language.

I was sitting at a small over-prized café at an airport reading a book (The Man Who Broke In To Auschwitz). During the train ride I had been thinking about a person trying to figure out how I feel about him. Still haven't reached a conclusion.

Anyway, back to the book. It tells the story of a soldier and how he leaves Liverpool to go to war. I'm sitting at the airport in Liverpool waiting for my flight back home. The book is written sort of like a diary and the first date of the book is Jan. 22nd. That is my birthday.

At one point I looked up, across from where I was sitting there was another café. A guy was sitting there and I thought he looked a bit like the guy I'd been thinking about on my way to the airport. I thought to myself I have to get him out of my head before I start seeing him everywhere... and continued reading. Just a short moment later I realize someone is standing by my table and look up. It is him. He was supposed to be on a flight two days earlier but had missed it and re-scheduled for the same flight as me.

I'm trying hard not to be superstitious, even though I am sometimes tempted to be.